Fear is a strange thing. It makes you helpless and cripples you. But somewhere in the midst of all that dread and weariness, there is amazing clarity. Clarity about what is most dear to you and what is most valuable to you. You fear loss. Loss of life, loss of security, loss of love, loss of freedom, loss of peace of mind. The less you are in control of a situation, the more you fear. The more you fear, the less you are in control. It's an experience. Specially the fear of something that you never envisaged, something that you never had a hand in but still threatens to ruin your sanctimonious existence. It’s a feeling of shock, then slow rationalization, then fear, then extreme fear, then spirituality and then some more fear. All interspersed with a zillion unwanted thoughts and another zillion rebellious, revengeful actions played out in the intricate map of a fearful mind.
I wish I could be age 1, and fearless again.
